A Year in Reflection: How Stepping Back Helped Me Move Forward

By God’s providence and grace, I was brought to a humbling realization of how embellishments in my words are deceptive and sinful. As a pastor, I am called to be above reproach in all areas, including how I communicate on social media, in podcasts, and in my biography.

Last year, the elders of our church and the Directors of our ministry’s board believed it was wise for me to step back for one year to confront this character flaw through repentance, prayer, and accountability. I willingly submitted to their counsel. I was asked not to post on Twitter (X), manage our ministry’s Instagram account for several months, accept press interviews and podcast opportunities (with a few exceptions), cancel all speaking engagements, shut down Reformation Seminary for a season, and pause writing certain books so that I could focus heavily on our local church and launch the new Relearn App.

These requests were met, and I’m so thankful for the season. After a year of prayer and deep reflection, I sought guidance from our church’s elders. They have affirmed that, through the Lord’s mercy, there is evidence of genuine repentance, growth, and sanctification in this area of my life. With this, they believe I am ready to resume normal public and online ministry activities.

Having said that, I wanted to share with you what the Lord has done during this season.

1. Public Humilation as God’s Chisel

Proverbs 20:30: “Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.” 

Being publicly called out for sin is extremely humbling. You would think the most agonizing part would be the public embarrassment. That was certainly painful. But the real challenge begins when you finally see what others see. And when you grasp that, especially in light of the grace of the Gospel, the shame can be overwhelming. How could I sin this way in light of Christ’s sacrifice? How could I partake in what Christ came to conquer? These were genuine questions of mine over this year.

While I partook in many processes to address this sin, two efforts were particularly helpful. First, I read “The Pastor and Prayer” by E.M. Bounds, which impacted me more than any book I’ve read in the past few years. It didn’t focus on honesty, but it led me to a level of commitment to prayer that I had never experienced before. Second, I read H. C. Trumbull’s book “A Lie Never Justified,” which presents a standard of honesty that goes far beyond what is commonly upheld by many Christians. It was both convicting and insightful, revealing the core issue I needed to address in my own life—and it hurt.

However, the “blows that wound” were God’s means to cleanse away my sin and those “strokes” have certainly sanctified my heart on the matter. In the end, it was the grace of the Gospel that reminded me that Christ bled for these very sins, leading me to deeper repentance, higher praise, and greater resolve for obedience.

2. The Pain of Pastoral Cancel Culture

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.”

Experiencing the fallout of sin and humiliation was tough, but what added to the difficulty was the unexpected distance created by pastors who had previously been friendly, both online and in person. I won’t name names, but it was surprising and painful to see these men, who I expected to be figures of support, pulling away from me. It’s my conviction that pastors, especially when confronted with a repentant brother, should be the ones to say, “I’m here for you, praying with you.” Instead, several of these men stopped answering my calls, wouldn’t return text messages, unfollowed me on social media, removed our past collaborations from their platforms, or even made public statements about me. 

Sadly, we live in a time of mob Christianity that says you’re guilty by association. Having been the offending party myself, I now understand the importance of showing grace and embracing those who repent, rather than shunning them out of concern for public optics. For a time, I really struggled with bitterness, but I was reminded quickly that these responses (whether right or wrong) were caused by my actions. In addition, God brought to my attention the greater debt my Savior forgave me, and I knew holding a grudge was not the answer.

On the other hand, I did want to point out that two men, Joel Webbon and Eric Conn, stood by me through it all. Despite their online reputation for being bold and intense, they showed me the most compassion. They did not advertise our relationship in this season but simply maintained our relationship and supported me in prayer. Loyalty and faithfulness are proven when standing by someone is inconvenient and undeserving, and these men passed that test. 

3. King’s Way Church 

Last year, my online ministry was growing. At the time, I was leading a small Reformed house church of about 10-15 families. This created an imbalance where my online ministry far outweighed my local ministry, which I’ve come to realize is not ideal or safe. Over the past year, I’ve made a conscious effort to shift my focus toward the local church. In 2023, this effort led to our house church’s transition to King’s Way Church in Prescott, Arizona.

Today, the Lord has graciously blessed us with a wonderful congregation of about 100 people, supported by three additional elders, a deacon, and a beautiful building to gather as a church family. We have been sponsored by another church to join the CREC as a “church plant,” embracing the association and denominational accountability it offers (this is to be formalized in October).

Most importantly, these people have become the heart and focus of my personal ministry. Over the past year, our family has shared meals countless times. I’ve taught not only on Sunday but often to the ladies on Tuesday evenings and the Men on Thursday evenings. Ultimately, our family is grateful for the new relationships the Lord continues to bring into our church and the blessing of impacting our town for the Gospel. 

5. The Relearn App

Outside of the local church, my second focus was to reorient Relearn.org. Since 2017, Relearn.org has been primarily known as “the teaching ministry of Dale Partridge,” and by God’s grace, the support from donors and my book sales kept our small team going. However, I’ve long felt the need to shift the focus away from myself and toward creating a product or service that better serves our mission of strengthening biblical and theological literacy within the church.

In 2022, we planned to launch the Relearn App, but delays pushed planning to 2023. Finally, on January 1st, 2024, we introduced what I believe is the ultimate app for theological audiobooks and ebooks for the Christian family. Our vision is to become a kind of “hand-curated Audible” but for Christian content. Our focus is offering an expertly organized digital library with beautiful covers, high-quality narration, and fully dramatized children’s stories. With the help of several publishers, editors, narrators, an excellent audio engineer, and a talented web designer, we are on track to achieve that goal.

Currently, we have over 2,500 users, with more than 700 paid subscribers. While we’re still small, by God’s grace, we anticipate steady growth. We aim to provide the church with an alternative media outlet that matures adults and catechizes Christian kids into the next generation of faithful believers. Please pray for us as we pour all our efforts into producing the best audiobooks and tools for the church.

5. Chronic Illness and Pastoral Ministry 

Shifting to a more personal note, If you don’t know, I’m sick and have been dealing with chronic illness for about five years. While some days are easier, I spend approximately 300 days a year feeling like I’m operating at around 80%. My diet is restricted to just ten foods, and I’ve eaten the exact same meals every day since 2020. To give you an idea, I’ve lived in Arizona for three years and have not once eaten at a restaurant.

I’ve prayed and been anointed with oil by the elders; I’ve tried conventional medicine and naturopathy. I live an extremely healthy lifestyle. I say all this because I’ve come to accept that, for now, the Lord prefers me weak—not incapable, as I can still preach, host dinners, spend time with my family, and even skateboard when I feel well—but I do all these things in pain and often with a struggle to breathe. 

The mistake would be to think I deserve better; in truth, I deserve far worse. The Lord, in His wisdom, knows that through my illness, He can accomplish not only His work through me but, more importantly, His work in me. For that, I am grateful. I share this because this season of repentance, when combined with illness, amplified my spiritual contemplation in ways I didn’t expect. It made more time for prayer, more awareness of my frailty, more dependence on Christ, and more perspective on my remaining time in this world.

6. The Fruit of our Home

Last but certainly not least is my family. In the face of a tough and introspective year, we welcomed our fourth child, Deacon James Partridge, and the timing truly felt like a blessing from the Lord. He has brought immense joy to our household. My eldest also turned ten in January, and my boys, who are eight and seven, are entering an age where they need me to a greater degree. With my time away from public ministry, I was able to enjoy more movies with them, have more family nights, and experience a sense of peace knowing I wasn’t constantly engaged in online debates.

Veronica and I are also approaching 15 years of marriage, and our bond continues to grow stronger as we navigate these tougher seasons together. Honestly, she embodies biblical femininity in such a beautiful and understated way, and her role as a pastor’s wife fits her so naturally. I truly couldn’t have asked for a better partner and helper in my ministry.

Conclusion 

This year has been full—full of sanctification, suffering, joys, ministry, and growth. Yet, above all, it has been full of grace. I truly believe God has begun a work in me that will better glorify Him and serve His people. That said, I don’t claim to have perfected my speech; I still wrestle with the temptation to use words that might present a more favorable impression. But the Lord is at work in this area, and the conviction to speak truthfully and modestly is stronger than ever. I humbly ask for your continued prayers—that the Lord would root out any tendency toward exaggeration and shape me into a man who continues to walk above reproach. If this prayer is answered, I trust that all other concerns and plans will rest securely in God’s providential care.